Chapter 2: An Ordinary Day
I study Economics.
Many people think I like economics.
No.
What I want to understand has never been money.
I want to understand people.
Or, to put it more precisely.
I want to understand the rules that made people what they are today.
Economics is only a very small piece of it.
An owner always wants to cut costs.
A worker always wants a raise.
A seller always wants to sell high.
A buyer always wants to buy low.
Nobody is wrong.
They are only making the best choice for themselves at that moment.
If I already hate the rules of this world.
At the very least.
I should understand how they run.
The first class is Microeconomics.
The lecturer stands at the podium talking about supply and demand.
The demand curve slopes down.
The supply curve slopes up.
The point where they meet is called equilibrium.
I do not find it interesting.
But I understand it.
If I paid money to sit here today.
I should at least carry something home.
The class ends.
"Dinner tonight?"
"Sure."
"Let's go to the night market."
Chairs scraping.
Laughter.
Footsteps.
A few minutes.
The whole big lecture room is left to me.
Nobody hates me.
Nobody is close to me either.
Everything stops at polite.
I think that is fine.
At least.
I do not have to spend time keeping up relationships I do not need.
The next period is Advanced Mathematics.
The professor fills the whole board.
A fairly long problem.
"Can anyone solve it?"
The class goes silent.
I raise my hand.
Not because I like showing off.
But because if nobody goes up.
The professor will stand there waiting a very long time.
I finish it.
He nods.
"Correct."
That is all.
At the break.
Three people drag their chairs over.
"Walk me through this one."
"I don't get this function."
"The statistics too."
I take out some paper.
I solve it step by step.
Ten minutes later.
"Thanks, man."
"Lucky we've got you."
They laugh.
Then they go back to their seats.
I know.
When exams come.
They will look for me again.
After the exams.
They probably will not remember what colour shirt I wore today.
What they need.
Is not me.
It is the answer.
Afternoon.
A group assignment.
Ten people.
One shared document.
Ten names.
Only one cursor moving.
It is mine.
"I'm busy."
"I'll do it tomorrow."
"I'll send it tonight."
The messages keep coming.
I turn off my phone.
And keep working.
Not because I am hard-working.
And not because I am kind.
If I spent an hour arguing over who has to do it.
I would have finished long ago.
Maybe.
I am just too tired to argue.
School lets out.
I change into my uniform.
And go to the restaurant where I work part-time.
The owner once asked me.
"Do you know why I like hiring Vietnamese?"
"Why?"
"Because the wages are low."
I nodded.
"True."
He looked at me.
He probably thought I would be upset.
But I was not.
If I were an owner.
I would want to cut costs too.
If I were a worker.
I would want a raise too.
Nobody is wrong.
Everyone is only trying to make the choice that serves them best.
That is simply how this world runs.
Night.
I walk back to the dorm.
It is raining in Taipei.
Not hard.
But enough to make people want to get home fast.
I walk very slowly.
Maybe because there is nobody waiting for me.
I used to love playing League of Legends.
Every single day someone would message.
"Hey."
"You on?"
"I came up with a new play today."
Not anymore.
It is not that they changed.
It is me.
Games could not feed me.
They did not pay the rent.
They could not buy dinner.
So I quit.
And my friends in the game disappeared along with it.
Maybe.
We were only ever friends because we played the same game.
My family is in Vietnam.
An ordinary farming family.
For me to be standing in Taiwan today.
They gave up a great deal.
So.
I go to class.
I go to work.
I save.
I earn.
But the older I get.
The less I understand.
What is a lot of money for?
To live better.
Or to keep earning more money?
People spend their whole youth preparing for life.
Then spend their whole life earning money.
And in the end.
Use that money to stretch out a few more years of old age.
It sounds strange.
We are always busy.
But we rarely ask ourselves.
What exactly we are busy for.
I can accept that the world changes.
If I could not.
I would not have made it to today.
But…
I am tired.
I just want to rest.