Chapter 4: The Bottom of the Falls
It took me almost five hours to get here.
A train.
A bus.
Then another train.
And finally forty-five minutes on foot through the forest.
I do not really understand why I chose a place this far away.
Maybe because it is far enough.
At least if I die here, I will not trouble too many people.
This is a chain of ten waterfalls deep in the mountains.
Each waterfall has a small shrine.
Clean tiled roof.
A tidy altar.
Incense still burning.
Now and then a hiker still passes by.
The Taiwanese really are hardworking to a frightening degree.
They will walk almost five hours just to light one stick of incense in the middle of a forest.
And me.
I also walked almost five hours.
Just to die.
I stand on the edge of the rock.
It is still raining.
Not hard.
But it will not stop.
Water pours down from above, white against the moss-covered cliffs.
Spray hits my face.
A cold wind slips through the trees.
Everything is very beautiful.
And very sad.
I think this place looks a lot like me.
I take a deep breath.
Then I step forward.
I do not know how long I fell.
I do not know whether I ever touched the water.
I only remember the sound of the falls getting louder.
Then everything disappeared.
No more cold.
No more pain.
No more sound of water.
I open my eyes.
I am standing at the bottom of the falls.
But there is no water.
The falls are still pouring down in front of me.
Millions of drops falling from above.
But not one of them touches the ground.
They stop in mid-air.
Like an enormous curtain held still by time.
I look down at my hands.
I can still see them.
But it feels as if they no longer belong to me.
I try to take a step.
No footsteps.
No sound at all.
I turn to look behind me.
There is no way back.
Only a white mist stretching on without end.
"Do you truly want to die?"
I hear a voice.
Very soft.
I turn around.
There is no one.
"Who is that?"
No answer.
I look around.
Then I hear crying.
A girl is standing not far from me.
A university student.
I do not know her.
I have never seen her before.
She is wearing ordinary clothes, a backpack still on her shoulder.
But her face is deathly pale.
Wet hair clings to both her cheeks.
She looks at me.
Then she runs toward me.
"Please…"
Her voice is shaking.
"Save me."
I stand still.
"Who are you?"
She does not answer.
She only looks at me.
Tears keep running down.
"Please…"
Before I can say anything.
A pitch-black hand reaches out from behind her.
It does not look like a human hand.
It passes straight through her body.
The girl screams.
"Save me!"
Her body begins to be dragged backward toward the falls.
I lunge forward on instinct.
I grab her hand.
Ice cold.
"Wait!"
I pull her back with everything I have.
But the thing behind her is far stronger.
The girl is crying.
"Don't let go of me…"
"I won't."
I do not understand why I said that.
I am already dead.
I have no reason to care about this girl.
I do not even know who she is.
But my hand is still holding hers.
And I do not want to let go.
A sound rings out.
Boom.
The falls behind the girl suddenly move.
This time it is no longer water.
It is a pitch-black void opening up.
The girl is yanked hard toward it.
"Save me!"
I tighten my grip on her hand.
But only for a moment.
Her hand slips out of mine.
She vanishes into the black curtain of water.
I stand there, frozen.
I never got to ask who she was.
Never got to ask how I was supposed to save her.
I never even got to say yes.
I look at the void in front of me.
Then down at my own hands.
I am dead.
But for the first time in a very long while…
there is something I want to do.
I go after her.